Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just found a bag of teeth...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
