Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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