yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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