Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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