A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
