Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
