the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
