I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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