I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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