i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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