Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
im holly from the hills drunk
he was CRYING into my vagina
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
