do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
