At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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