he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
