Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
