u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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