Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
