u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
