people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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