Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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