all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
