i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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