Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
