I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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