watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
