Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
