Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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