omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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