very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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