Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
