is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
