you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
