We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
