yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
