OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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