i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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