If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize