The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
