I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
