I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
