How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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