using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
