i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
