I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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