I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
