ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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