talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
