you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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