Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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