North Korea, Best Korea!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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