He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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