I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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