i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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