And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
