I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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