My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Randomize
