I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
