My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
