you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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