R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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