so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
